Advice for parents and carers

Phones

How to start a conversation with your child about using a phone safely:

Why do you want to get a phone?

Whilst deciding if it is time for your child to have their first phone can be a great opportunity to find out what your child expects to use their phone for. This could be for connecting with friends, playing games, for keeping in touch whilst out of the house or other reasons.

What do you like about using your phone?

You can ask your child about their favourite apps or games, what they like using their phone for, or you can ask them to show you how to play or use their favourite game or website.

What would you do if something worrying or upsetting happened on your phone?

You can ask them about the places they can go to find the safety advice, find out what they know about privacy settings, and ask them how to report or block on the services they use.

How can we do more online together?

Ask your child about activities or games that you could enjoy as a family, this can be a great time to establish a family agreement to manage your families time online.

Top tips

Talk with your child about responsible use of their phone

Discuss what is okay and not okay to use their phone for. Talk about time limits and expectations of where the device can and cannot be used, this could include things like the phone being charged outside their bedroom overnight.

Discuss what to do if something upsetting or worrying happens

Give them the strategies they need in case something concerning happens whilst they are using their device. This could be to lock the screen and tell an adult, to make a report to the platform they are using, or to block the user.

Explore parental controls

Take a look at the controls available both on the phone itself and on your home Wi-Fi. Talk these through with your child too. Parental controls are a helpful tool, but an open conversation with your child is the most important thing.

FAQs about phones

Phones give young people a way to keep in touch with their friends and families, look up information and enjoy games and social media.

Phones can send and receive calls and messages, browse the internet and take photos and videos. There are also a huge amount of apps that can be downloaded that allow the user to do many different things such as watch videos, connect with friends, make video calls, play games, get news updates, and much more.

Whether your child already has a phone or they are about to get their first one, explore the parental controls on offer and have a conversation with your child to set up some boundaries around their phone use, for example, who they can give their number to, or where they keep it overnight. Reassure them you want to help them to enjoy using it safely, and that they can talk to you if anything upsets or worries them while using it.

If your child is very young, spend time with them downloading some appropriate apps and games. If your child is older, have a conversation with them about what they like or want to use their phone for, and what apps or games they use. Give them a strategy to use if something goes wrong, for example, turning off the screen and coming to talk to you.

Restore any second-hand phone to its factory settings before your child uses it. This means deleting all data on the phone and returning to its basic settings, as if it was new. This will avoid you or your child potentially accessing someone else’s personal information, private messages, photos, accounts, etc. It will also allow you to set up parental controls that are most suitable for your child.

For some tips on getting your child their first smartphone, see the Internet Matters website.

Like any piece of technology, phones have both benefits and risks. Many of the risks depend on how a phone is being used. There are some key concerns people have about children using phones in particular:

Cyberbullying and harassment from friends and strangers
Unwanted or inappropriate contact from friends and strangers
Over-sharing personal information, such as full name, location or images
Accessing inappropriate content
Spending too much money
Excessive screen time
Behaving inappropriately or unkindly online

Parental controls can help limit potential risks, such as installing passwords, blocking certain websites or apps, and setting time limits and spending limits. For further information on how to set up controls on a phone, visit Internet Matters’ Smartphone Guides.

Talk with your child about their understanding of the risks when using a phone. Ask them what they would do if something happened, for example, if they experienced cyberbullying. Decide together on what they should do if that happened, for example, take a screenshot and tell an adult. A family agreement can help you have these conversations. Explore safety tools such as blocking and privacy settings together and help your child set up these up where necessary.

Make sure your child knows to speak to a trusted adult immediately if anyone they only know online (a stranger) asks to meet up, for their personal information, or for photos or videos of them.

Find out more advice to managing specific risks here.

Reassure your child you are there to listen and help. Ask about the problem and try to find out how it happened. Try to remain calm and non-judgemental, to help your child feel comfortable in telling you how the issue happened.

Work with your child to report or block any unacceptable behaviour or other users. Contact your child’s school for further support, particularly if it involves cyberbullying between classmates or inappropriate contact from an adult. If you suspect that your child is or has been the subject of inappropriate sexual contact by another person, report this to Child Exploitation and Online Protection Centre at www.ceop.police.uk.

If your child has accessed inappropriate content, you can report this to the site or service it appeared on. Find out how to do this on the Childnet website.

Explore the settings to see if you can limit the risk of it happening again.

For help for on specific problems, see the following advice on online bullying, sexting, pornography, social media, parental controls and online challenges.